Homeschooling is a growing trend in America because our public schools fucking suck. I’m all about supporting the homeschooling parents out there because we’re the shepherds of the next generation of innovators and leaders. Or rebel fighters, depending on how the current political clime goes, but I digress.
Homeschooling parents? I love you. I do. But the number of homeschooling parents (moms, especially) I feel comfortable spending time with I can count on one hand, and I’m married to him (hi honey). What’s up with that?
I feel like the homeschooling scene is largely dominated by men and women who are trying to define themselves through homeschooling, and their person-hood gets swallowed by a series of stupid fucking cliches about religion, or veganism, or churning butter at home as they pursue being the proper picture of homeschooling parents.
Fuck that noise.
Human nature leans all of us in the direction of being more about the appearances we put out into the world. From an evolutionary standpoint signals can save lives. It makes sense. But for me, and the other homeschoolers out there like me, the signals surrounding homeschooling are inaccurate.
I don’t make my own clothes. I own a tv. I don’t like nitrates or processed food. My kids play on their kindles for hours every day. When it’s hot I don’t like going outside. I go to church when I can but I spend my money on tattoos and piercings. I love lacy underwear and high heels. I’m all about maxi skirts because fuck pants. I swear so much but I have a college-level vocabulary. I’m a syntax and grammar nazi but I can’t remember how to use a semicolon, like, ever. Seriously, it’s fucking incredible. I don’t bake cookies, but I cook from scratch. I am, in short, human. I’m multi-dimensional. I don’t parse well into categories or social expectations. I am one vast fucking disappointment. It’s wonderful.
There’s a ton of homeschoolers out there like me, no fitting into the culture in our native cities and towns. Our commonality which can unite us is that we all reject the labels and boxes more socially minded folk try to impress on the world around them. We tend to be odd. But even amongst ourselves the divisions outnumber the shared ground and unfortunately feeling lonely isn’t uncommon. And if we feel lonely, aren’t our kids lonely? Isn’t that bad? Isn’t it?
The short answer is no. Loneliness is a natural and healthy emotion. The world is not full of tons and tons of people lining up to be our friends, even if the media and teen movies and Facebook tell us all otherwise every minute of every day. Humans are complicated creatures which can be hard to understand even in the closest and most intimate relationships, which is the very reason that relationships are hard work driven forward through mutual acts of respect and mercy! MARRIAGES are hard to not feel lonely in, so why do we expect our general social circles to be any more fulfilling?
At the end of the day, loneliness is a good thing to experience because only through experience and acceptance can we ever hope to explain to our kids what it is and how to deal with it. The reality is that if we are lucky we’ll have two or three people including our spouse that we call close friends when we’re 80. Acceptance is NOT easy to come by, understanding, even less so. That’s why tolerance is the glue of any civil society, and why we need to model for the kids we’re homeschooling mature emotional health.
Feel lonely! Then go do something in the world to make the world a more sincerely loving place.
Love and light, Moms and Dads. Now go punch your bad feelings in the dick.