One week ago today I deleted my Facebook with no regrets. I still have no regrets, but I am at a loss as to what I’m supposed to be doing with all of this free time I’ve got. I’m running out of chores to do, and my kids have played with me enough that they now want to play by themselves. I guess I can get lesson plans together for the school year, or bake something. The point is that I have this sudden influx of free time, and that embarrasses me.
I didn’t think that I had let social media take away from my life in any fashion. I’ve heard about internet addictions just like everyone else, and I thought I was savvy enough to have it under control, so I assumed that I was stressed out and always playing catch-up with my responsibilities because I have three children and a lot of shit to do. I quit Facebook, and suddenly I’ve got all this time just waiting to be filled with productivity and fun.
I allowed that stupid website to nibble away at my day. Five minutes here, twenty minutes there, and boom! I’m all outta time, my kids got baby-sat by the TV, my dishes aren’t done, but I know that Queen Bey’s sister got married and I had a political argument with a total stranger in Minnesota.
I feel like a total asshole.
I’m still struggling to fill my time up with more meaningful activities. A multi-year habit of waking up and first thing getting some coffee and checking my Facebook feed is proving difficult to break. I feel out of sorts, mildly disconnected, like I’m forgetting something important. Then I remember to get up and do something, I make breakfast; I play with my kids; I engage in my real life and then I feel better.
With my energies released from Facebook, I’ve had more time for writing, myself, my husband, and my kids. I think I’m going to be just fine without it. Maybe you would be better off, too.