My registration for next term is finished. I am officially going to be in school for two consecutive semesters; a first for me in all of my collegiate attempts. This is nothing in the eyes of the world, but to me, it’s huge. I dropped out of high school before the end of my first semester freshman year. I haven’t done anything like this since I was 14 years old. I had feared that the weight of all of that accumulated failure was an insurmountable obstacle. It’s not. To me, making it through this, getting this under my belt, it’s going to kill the lingering fears that I am little more than my father’s daughter just writing my own forty years worth of excuses for never doing a god damned thing. I am capable of more than I ever thought possible. This is just the beginning.
I’m very excited for the financial aid disbursement I’m about to get. Instead of blowing it all on hats, I’ll be using that money to purchase Chromebooks for my kids so they can start doing more school stuff online. With my very full schedule, I can’t sit at the kitchen table playing schoolhouse with them. I’ve got shit to do. I want motivated, independent, self-starters who learn because they want to. I’m totally looking forward to what they manage to do for themselves. I’ve got a list of online learning resources I can’t wait to show them how to use. Once they figure out reading and basic math, I can start filling the house with shelves and shelves of books. I get all tingly just thinking about it.
The hubs and I have decided that we’ll be looking for a house to rent after our lease is up here. It’s pretty expensive for the lack of service and maintenance we’re having to deal with, and the only real benefit is being extremely close to Walmart. I’d much rather the kids have a yard. And the dogs. And cats. We need a yard, y’all.
Having hope is great. Having a plan feels so much better. Actually getting the fucking behemoth we call a life to move in the direction of where we want it to go makes me so excited I think I might pee a little.
Lennon was right when he said life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans. Gotta have plans to even have life happen.